Nothing But You Means A Thing
by Orchestra-Eight
Summary: Blaine's been broken for a long time, but can someone he's overlooked fix him? Or will he fall apart and lose his chance at everything? This is my second shot at my Mad World Series about suicide. The song this is based off of is I'm Not Okay I Promise by My Chemical Romance. The title song is from As Long As You're There by Charice. This is Blaine Anderson's Mad World.
1. I'm Incomplete

**This is the second part of what I'm not referring to as my Mad World series of stories. They're all suicides or attempted suicides of Glee characters. This one here is slightly more optimistic than the others, and may have another one shot that goes along with it. I'm sorry if this makes anyone sad. I got a lot of Reviews from "I Find It Hard To Tell You", which is my first Mad World one-shot, telling me it made them cry.**

**This is Blaine Anderson's Mad World.**

* * *

><p>"I'm not okay."<p>

That's where it started. Three little words. Nine letters. One sentence that brought Blaine Anderson's world to a spin. Not being okay was one thing... admitting it, was completely different.

Transferring to a prep school in the middle of a semester is about as atypical as it gets in Ohio. Transferring to a prep school in the middle of a semester, because you're gay and your brother and his friends decided to try and kill you, is unheard of. Yet here Blaine is, standing on a staircase, his eyes searching the crowded hallways for a glimpse of _normal_, of _typical_. He craves it. Wants it. Needs it. Longs for it. Would die for it...

Blaine lasts five months before he says the words.

He keeps to himself most of the time. Everyone still whispers, speculates, gossips... even if they are slightly more careful about it, slightly less mean. Blaine ignores everything, everyone. Ignores Wes, the nice boy in his latin class that tries to befriend him, David, the boy that sits with him at lunch even when he doesn't talk, Thad, the boy who got asked to show him around. He sits with them, but he doesn't speak, his voice stays unused, silent, his throat permanantly constriced.

The boys seem to be used to his lingering shadow, for that's all he is, the mute kid. Blaine tries to communicate somehow after a while, figuring that they deserve something for all they've done to try to welcome him. He looks at them when they speak, not always registering what they say, and making no movement to show he understands, but he looks at them...and they take what they can get...

Blaine avoids touch, flinches when Wes tries to pat him on the back, or David punches his shoulder friendly. Blaine never had friends, isn't sure if he even wants friends. Just more people to hurt, more people to hurt him. Blaine's already too hurt...

It's May thirty-first when Blaine finds himself sitting on the floor of his bathroom, digging the cold, unfeeling blade through his skin for the last time. There are three deep marks across his chest, traced over other healed scars. The letter's G, A and Y harshly dug into his skin. Another sixteen across his tanned arms. His blazer lays loose around his shoulders, as does his dress shirt. His tie was flung across the room, he was pretty sure it's hanging off a lamp. But it's not important.

Blaine's all alone, he knows it, accepts it, and he feels it in his bones. The loneliness. His will to live is gone. He wishes it wasn't. Wishes he could be strong, wishes his family loved him, wishes he could be friends with the boys here. Secretly wishes his brother had killed him when he tried.

He lays there for fifteen minutes, blood dripping almost serenely out of the gruesome wounds on his chest and forearms. For those fifteen minutes he cries. Cries for everything. His mother, his father, his brother, his old life, where he wasn't just the gay kid, where he didn't feel contaminated..infected. He cries because he longs to be normal. Like the others.

Fifteen minutes after Blaine digs that blade into his flesh for the last time, three boys burst through the door.

Blaine stays where he is, just staring up at the teenagers, their eyes set, sadness and determination bleeding into their normally cheerful faces. One look into Wes's eyes and he knows, he knows that they knew. He wants to tell Wes...David...Thad...Someone. Blaine doesn't even know if he can speak anymore, but he opens his mouth anyways. Trying to thank the boys... No...the men in front of him.

Wes supports Blaine's aching torso against his uniform clad chest, his normally soft eyes wet with warm tears as he hugs the towel to Blaine's chest. Thad sits cross legged between Blaine's knees, his hands clutching a towel to Blaine's left arm, his face pulled taut with worry...and David curls up into Blaine's side, his left hand pressing a washcloth to Blaine's right arm, his other hand holding his phone, asking the 911 dispatcher to hurry, begging the person on the other end to save _him_.

"I'm not okay."

Blaine doesn't know what makes him say it, but the words burn. They're hoarse and quiet, almost a whisper, and his throat aches with the strain. His eyes sting with rough tears, his heart pounding loudly in his chest and head weary from the bloodloss.

David and Thad's heads shoot up immediately, surprise on their faces as it clicks that Blaine can actually speak. They both smile slightly, and Blaine can feel Wes's lips twitch up into a smile as well. His warm breath, soothing on the back of Blaine's neck.

Wes hugs Blaine close to his chest, the towel pressing hard against the three letters that had been engraved there by his brother, just before he had stabbed the knife into his side eight months ago...

Hot tears drip onto Blaine's shoulders and dress pants as the three men cry, Blaine's tears mixing with Wes's as they run over the flesh of his upper torso.

"We know Blaine," he whispers, mouth close to his ear and yet the voice still quiet, the sirens slowly entering into the background almost enveloping the soft sound. Blaine leans back into the embrace, his hands reaching out to clasp with all his remaining strength at the arms of the two boys at his feet.

"Don't worry Blaine. We've got you."

Blaine has no words that suit how he feels. He settles for the simplest ones.

"Thank you."

* * *

><p><strong><strong>If you ever feel like killing yourself, get help. You can talk to me, or a friend or family member, call a helpline. One of my friends has tried to kill herself twice and twice I have managed to somehow talk her out of it. Please talk to someone if you feel this way okay. I promise that no matter how shitty life seems it is worth living.<strong>**

**Suicide is not a way out, it's a way to hurt those around you. Please talk to someone if you need help. My inbox is open to anyone who wishes to post in it.**

**Read and Review. :) I love you guys!**


	2. When You're Not There

This my friends, has transformed into a wonderful three shot. That I am extremely proud of and will hopefully have the final chapter of up later today or early tomorrow if I keep up on my writing binge :) This is more of a filler chapter but it's still very important. I'm really inspired by this story right now!

* * *

><p>It's three weeks later that Blaine returns to the halls of Dalton, his mind slightly more open and free than it had been the first time he stood on these stairs. He still gets wayward glances as he stands on that last step, but the looks are less curious and more out of concern, and it almost makes Blaine feel...alive<p>

Three weeks of just Wes, David and Thad really wasn't as bad as it seemed it would be. The boys never mentioned what had happened, knowing they had gotten through somehow to the broken boy, but instead talked about classes, the Warblers, and even David's issues with his girlfriend, whom apparently was mad at him for skipping out on a date with her for a COD marathon. Blaine got a good hard laugh out of that story even telling him on one or two opportunities that he was ridiculous.

Blaine doesn't know how but he's fallen into this pattern, with his friends, the first set of friends he's had since sixth grade, that goes something like: wake up, do homework while the guys are at school, hang with Wes and Thad until Dave's done at work, watch movies, laugh and joke about their problems, eat, say goodbye to the guys, sleep... and somehow, he's managed to enjoy his time spent with them. Blaine had almost forgotten how it felt.

But school's different, he doesn't just get to lay around anymore, he has classes to go to, and people who know what he did to himself. He has to sit there and listen to them whisper, not cruelly, just out of interest, curiosity. He appreciates the fact that he's moved in with Wes, because it means he can skip class if it gets too bad and the boys will know where he is if he needs them. He always needs them.

It's two weeks into his return to school that things start getting weird. Better yet, it's two weeks into his return to school that Wes starts getting weird. Blaine knows better than anyone he's ever met what avoidance is, and Wes is doing his best to escape him. No one knows why, not Thad or David or any of the other Warbler boys he's become moderate friends with.

No matter how much he loved David and Thad, he knew very well he was closest to Wesley. They would talk the most, text the most, laugh the most...comfort each other the most. Blaine had begged Wes to stay with him on the ambulance ride, and even for a few days following his release from the hospital. He felt the most comfort from Wes's presence, so it hurt that much more when the boy made excuses, and always was busying himself or asleep when Blaine entered their shared room.

The final blow was when the slightly taller boy began to sleep in David and Thad's room.

Blaine had not been angry in a long time. Sad, yes, but not angry. But honestly, he was sick of this bullshit, and whether or not Wes wanted to talk, it was going to happen.

It was less than a week and a half of Wes sleeping somewher else before Blaine got the chance to talk to him. He'd been trying hard all week to get him in the same room, to even just catch a glimpse of the boy, and now that he had him where he wanted he wasn't holding back.

"What the fuck Wes?"

He's angry, no, he's _furious_. He needs this, some sort of resolution, and Wes is here, standing in front of him with that hurt look, but he packing some clothes in a duffle bag. He's _leaving._

"Seriously? You're going to leave? Just drop me on my butt and go? Well fine! Fucking go! It's not like everyone doesn't leave me anyways!"

Wes stops, like he's holding back...like he doesn't know what to say.

"Blaine...don-"

Blaine cuts him off with a hand, slumping against the wall and dropping to the floor. He doesn't remember when he started crying, when the anger transferred to hurt, doesn't remember feeling this empty.

"Please leave."

Its a whisper, he's begging. Wants this to be over. Wants to just cope with it like he knows he's going to have to do.

He doesn't expect the soft whisper thats too close to be anywhere but right in front of him.

"No."

* * *

><p>Like it? Hate it? See a mistake?<p>

Read and Review :)


	3. As Long As You're There

The last bit. This totally didn't end like I hoped it would. But I love it :)

* * *

><p>In no time, the angers back.<p>

"What do you mean 'No'? You're just packing to stay? Fuck you Wesley Montgomery if you think I'm that stupid."

Wes flinches a little at the curse, but makes no other movements, his eyes staring at Blaine's hands that are clenching and unclenching in his lap. A little of the leader's natural confidence returns and he grasps them in his own. He pauses, and takes a deep breath before he responds.

"I'm leaving because it hurts Blaine, not because I want to."

A little dazed, Blaine turns from where he's been staring at the hands clasping his own to the face that those hands belong to, his eyes speaking volumes of pain.

"You think it doesn't hurt for you to leave? You...You don't understand... I-..I _need_ you."

Its then that Wes pulls back, his body stiff but eyes soft..._hurt. _He stands, walking over to his bag which he slings over his shoulder angrily. He closes his eyes, his hand on the doorknob, and leans his head against the door.

"I just.. I can't stay Blaine, not when you don't understand what you saying things like that does to me."

Blaine stands up before Wesley can pull the door open to step out, and pushes it shut, leaning on the door with all his weight. He glances up at Wes, searching desperately for what he wants to see in those eyes.

"What?"

He says it softly, his heart thumping loudly in his chest, feeling as though it wants to burst out of it. Wes shoots him a confused look so Blaine quickly clarifies.

"What do I do to you?"

Wes blanches almost immediately, and turns his face from Blaine's.

"Nothing."

Its quiet, but Blaine hear's him well enough.

"Don't lie to me Wes."

And it seems as though thats enough.

Wesley turns soundly, his back to the wall next to the door, and angles his face towards Blaine's. Close. Their mouthes are inches apart, and suddenly, suddenly Blaine is finding it really hard to breathe.

"You're the reason my heart beats..."

That one line is enough to make Blaine gasp and his eyes tear, but he holds still, knowing Wes isn't anywhere near done.

"My breath catches in my throat when I see you, and I find myself asking how I ever met anyone so beautiful."

Wes chokes hard on a breath, although his gaze never leaves Blaine's. He needs to say this. To get it off his chest. He needs to _know_...

"I can sit for hours thinking about the honey brown colour of your eyes, and...and the midnight black of your hair, just... wishing you'd let those gorgeous curls free every now and then... And...Sometimes I just get this extreme urge to, hold your hand. It's like...it's like if I don't, I'll just cease to exist."

Blaine can't stop himself from pitching in, the tears freely falling down his cheeks, his hands grasping desperately at Wes's.

"You're the only person I feel safe with. I.."

He pauses to choke back a sob, and he feels Wes squeeze his hand lightly, reassuringly.

"I stare at your lips when you talk and I think about how wonderful it would feel to kiss you...about how much I missed when I was dead to the world... to myself... I think of how I missed the perfect person, even though he was there all along...I just.."

Everything becomes like stepping on broken glass, everything needs to be carefully done, everything can hurt.

Wes lifts his free hand, brushing softly across Blaine's cheek, wiping away the tears, trying to erase his sadness, and Blaine leans into the touch, his cheek fitting perfectly into the curve of Wes's palm.

" I lov...I love you. P-...please don't leave me".

It's a whimper and a sob, both heartbreaking and powerfully loud, and Wes smiles softly.

He leans up to kiss Blaine's forehead, and Blaine's eyes close at the touch, desperately sure this is a goodbye.

Wes just drops his bag to the floor and cups Blaine's face with his hands as he mutters a soft word before covering Blaine's lips with his own.

"Never."

* * *

><p>Read and Review my lovelies :)<p>

Thanks so much guys. I needed this to have a good ending.

I kind of have this massive soft spot for Waine.


End file.
